Joy - Yes thats me and the series "Life of Lover" is about all moments of lady-love that I have tried seeking but have never been really successful to either have the person in my life or retain the person in my life.
As a guy as well being a Gemini - beauty and girls always have had lured me since a very young age. But never thought about it very seriously till I reached my graduation.
1st Year of Graduation:
After 2 years of stay at boys boarding, I come to a co-ed grad-school. During admission, more than guys my eyes rolled on the females. Well, that does not mean I looked at them as objects of utility but yes just checking most of them.
First semester, I went making friends with majority of the females and a selected guys. But, that was also for a reason- girls atleast did not use a lot abusive languages, girls were not much into smoking, girls were not so much into alcoholism and I thought they were simple to be with and the psychologically their smiles did the talking to my mind & heart to be with them.
By end of 1st semester was seen with multiple females, rumours and talks about me being a flirt spread across the college. I questioned is that what I really intended? I realised, not really.
Second semester, I kept little distance and stayed a friends with all - both guys and girls, haha. But, there was one girl who really took my heart. Funniest thing was, I asked her out way too soon after being a close friend to one of her classmates. As usual, patience is something I always lacked. And yes, how can I forget - the INR 10 SMS packs - best friend when there was no whatsapp. All night long chats. Also what I believe at that age there is always willingness of both girls & boys to know each other. Ahh, I feel jealous of the time - while writing about it in 2019.
Yes, I finally proposed a girl. But, never was so gutsy to propose her on face. SMS packs did the work for me. My friend did not really accept but said, lets explore each other. First month, it was awesome fun - I was on cloud nine. I loved to be with her and I thought she too liked to be with me. But then, one day "Joy you are a safe and good guy to be with but frankly I don't have feelings for you". Earthquake tremors shocked my heart - reality check - "Ohh shit! I am friendzoned"
Next one week, I was seen in an anger and aggressive mode. I decided not to speak to her forever. Our groups changed, she made some new friends. But, I completely ignored her.
Being a guy, I could not have stayed away for long. At the starting of third semester, I reached out to her. Everyone got shocked seeing both of us together - yet again. I controlled my emotions well enough but I knew somewhere I was making effort for having her as my girlfriend. This was evident to all. But, yes I did not hit on any other girl after that. How can I forget, in an attempt to be her boyfriend - I helped her with notes, assignments, presentations and not only that I even took part in numerous inter & intra college competitions - won a few. This made me stand out in the crowd as someone distinct. Professors loved me and I was among the most creative and different students in the college. This was all to differentiate from others - but, it really had no impact on her.
Then we spent some good time, visiting and exploring Delhi. I learnt driving, and we had numerous stories taking the car out without parent's permission. Then graduation came to an end. I was afraid I will miss her. I was afraid she will find someone else and we will be separated.
I moved to Gurgaon, took admission for my MBA. But she dropped a year and prepared for her post-grad. We kept speaking and meeting each other - though not often but still. I wish we had metro as we have today in Gurgaon. We could have met more often then.
In my 2nd year, and her 1st year of graduation - I went to give her surprises from all the way from Gurgaon to Greater Noida. Then I got to hear that she was some other guy from her post-grad school also heard about her being with some senior from our grad school. My heart really ached but tried to be in touch without complaining a lot.
I went into job, met more friends and with time we lost contact. At times we crossed roads and met each other.
I thought I was in love, I waited almost 4.5 years to be with her. Everytime I met a girl - I always thought one day she might just come into my life.
Comments
Post a Comment